The Wicked Wit of Winston Churchill, compiled by Dominique Enright, is a collection of quotes and anecdotes not only from
Churchill himself, but from other people about Churchill. While there is no discernable plot to this book the character formation of Mr. Churchill that occurs is outstanding. I read this book twice, once in a humorous mood and once in a somewhat cynical mood, and each time I came away with a different perspective on Mr. Churchill’s personality and character.
I do not believe that I could simply convey in my own words what Mr. Churchill’s most prominent characteristics are because, as previously stated, I came away with different perspectives of the same man from the same book. To that end I have selected some of the quotes from the book that I feel accurately portrays the Churchill that the author was trying to depict.
‘If I valued the honourable gentleman’s opinion I might get angry,’ WSC responded calmly when an Ulster Member shouted ‘Contemptible’ during an Irish Home Rule debate in the House.
‘Politics is like waking up in the morning. You never know whose head you’ll find on the pillow.’
Churchill could not resist puns, even when the circumstances perhaps did not call for levity. When on a tour of Africa in 1907, he was informed by a Colonial Governor that venereal disease was spreading at an alarming rate among the ‘natives’. ‘Ah, Pox Britannica!’ Churchill diagnosed.
On the same journey, after a march of over a hundred miles, Churchill turned to his Private Secretary Eddie Marsh and said, ‘So fari – so goodi!’
‘The whipped jackal, who, to save his own skin, has made of Italy a vassal state of Hitler’s Empire, is frisking up by the side of the German tiger with yelps not only of appetite – that could be understood – but even of triumph.’ (The jackal in this speech to the House in April 1941 is Mussolini. In November 1942 Mussolini transmogrified slightly: ‘The hyena in his nature broke all bounds of decency and even common sense.’)
A BBC broadcaster described once sitting next to Churchill as he gave a speech, keeping his audience hanging on to his every word. The broadcaster noticed, however, that what appeared to be notes in Churchill’s hand was only a laundry slip, and he later remarked upon this to Churchill. ‘Yes,’ said WSC. ‘It gives confidence to my audience.’
Margot Asquith, Herbert Asquith’s second wife, found his (WSC) vanity a bit much at times, and is said on one occasion to have exclaimed: ‘He would kill his own mother just so that he could use her skin to make a drum to beat his own praises.’
WSC on
Joseph Chamberlain (father of Neville Chamberlain) ‘Mr. Chamberlain loves the working man; he loves to see him work.’
WSC on
Arthur Balfour (Prime Minister 1902-6) ‘If you wanted nothing done, Arthur Balfour was the best man for the task. There was no equal to him.’
‘It is a fine thing to be honest, but it is also very important to be right.’
WSC on
Neville Chamberlain (PM 1937-40) ‘You were given the choice between war and dishonour. You chose dishonour and you will have war.’
‘Eating my words has never given me indigestion.’
‘I am not usually accused even by my friends of a modest or retiring disposition.’
‘I do not resent criticism, even when, for the sake of emphasis, it parts for the time with reality.’
‘I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is ready for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.’ (Churchill on his seventy-fifth birthday)
‘Of course I’m an egoist. Where do you get if you aren’t?’
It is said that at the
Yalta conference in 1945, Roosevelt having made a fulsome tribute to the Soviet leader, Churchill was persuaded by an aide to follow suit (objecting the while: ‘But they do not want peace’). Getting to his feet, he proposed a toast to ‘
Premier Stalin, whose conduct of foreign policy manifests a desire for peace.’ Then, in a whispered aside out of the interpreter’s hearing: ‘A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia, a piece of Romania....’
...Churchill visited Richmond, Virginia, where a sculpture of him was being unveiled. A magnificently Rubenesque lady came up to him and cooed enthusiastically at him: ‘Mr Churchill, I want you to know I got up at dawn and drove a hundred miles for the unveiling of your bust.’ Looking upon her generous endowments, WSC answered, ‘Madam, I want you to know that I would happily reciprocate the honour.’
Another story has it that while visiting a parachute factory, Churchill absentmindedly took out a cigar. Immediately, the fire officer came running up: ‘Sir, sir, you mustn’t smoke!’ he cried out. ‘Oh, don’t worry, dear boy,’ came the reply. ‘I don’t inhale.’
‘Too often the strong silent man is silent because he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong only because he has remained silent.’
‘A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.’
‘Virtuous motives, trammelled by inertia and timidity, are no match for armed and resolute wickedness.’
Even on the most serious of occasions, Churchill could not resist little jokes, and when he arrived on the
Normandy beachhead on D-Day –plus-6 (12 June 1944) to meet Montgomery, he sent Roosevelt a postcard: ‘Wish you were here.’
Winston Churchill was a politician whose political savvy was unmatched. He was in office through two world wars, one of which he held the position of Prime Minister. He led the world through the Second World War, at times kicking and screaming, never compromising his personal values and the values of his country.
Whatever one might feel about Mr. Churchill’s character and personality, I believe that no one could deny that he was the greatest and most fascinating world leaders of the 20th century.